I met a guy 10 months ago online. We’re both in our early 20s although I’m older than him. We didn’t meet in a dating website; we met on a fb fanpage of a nba player we both are a fan of. So we became friends. At first it was all friendly and casual and then as months passed our conversations became deeper. We sent long, as in really long fb messages DAILY throughout those months. Never had I lied to him and I know that he never lied to me either. I know he’s not lying about his identity because one, I have skyped with him already and two, I am also Fb friends with his sister. Besides, it’s too easy to tell if a Fb account is fake or not. And he has done a lot of things to prove that he really cares for me and that he loves me too. I won’t share the details of our convos but he’s a kind person and I would not even talk to him that much if he’s rude. Anyways, back in October 2011; we had a problem. During this time we haven’t really defined our relationship. And something happened that made us finally discuss what we are to each other. He asked me so I told him that I feel that we’re more than friends. He agreed. He said that even though at that time, he often tells me he loves me but feel scared and hurt deep inside because we’re not together physically. But yeah, we decided to treat each other as bf/gf with all the nicknames and stuff. We were happy until he decided to end it two weeks ago. You see, we had plans. The plan is for me to visit him for a week this June. We’re both excited about it. And then we both agreed that if things really turns out good then I’ll move there to be with him BUT it will be in the next two years. I need sometime to save up I mean I can’t just move to another country like that, I have to secure a job, a place to live in etc. He agreed and even told me that he can do two years if it’s guaranteed that we’ll be together. And then two weeks ago, as I’ve said he ended things between us by sending a fb msg. He said, although he wanted that one week visit to happen, he felt that after having to see each other it would be very difficult for him to deal with the long distance thing again. So he said he can’t go on with our relationship. He also said he would not be in a relationship any time soon because of the qualities he saw in me. I was devastated, but I accepted it. He said his decision was “firmly made” so I felt scared that if I try to change his mind, I’ll be rejected again. I sent him a message too that day and we’re no contact since then and it’s killing me. I miss him so much. This is the longest we never talked. I decided not to log on to my Fb because the whole thing reminds me of him. Night time is the worst. I always remember the words he said to me. I remember our conversations and how he showed me how strong he is for the both of us and then he ended our relationship. I’m so hurt and disappointed. All my dreams of being with him are too painful to remember. I just can’t accept the fact that we’re over. It hurts me so much. I feel like not contacting him will make him miss me and change his mind but as days pass by it scares me more that he had moved on and totally forgot about me. So it makes me think that I should contact him before completely losing him but a part of me wants to confirm if he really loves me then he’ll come back or better man up and deal with the distance between us. I’m completely lost and hurt. I love this man and I know he loves me too. It’s just that we’re apart and he’s scared. I feel like, I should have asked him to discuss our problem and encourage him more before agreeing on ending things between us. But I’m confused if I should talk to him or not. I hope you can help me. Thanks.
P.S. I’m not mad at him, I don’t hate him and I think I would never ever hate him. He’s such a beautiful person that’s why it hurts me so much that just when I found that one person I want to spend my life with, he’s 8000 miles away from me. I don’t want to lose him. :(